Wowee, there’s no better way for you to prove how “down” you are than by going camping, is here? The mountain fresh air, the raw majesty of the great outdoors, roughing it like our forefathers under the great wide, open sky, and sharing toilets and showers with a bunch of other tourists.
It’s the best thing in the world…right?
But not every camping trip goes as planned. Sometimes, nature bites back at the most inopportune times. And today, we at PopLurker asked our readers for their most memorable camping stories, and their answers left us more permeated with laughter than campfire smoke on a s’more!
18) Can We Go Home Yet?
“Had a campout with my baseball team after 6th grade. About 10 twelve-year-olds with two adults in one huge tent. Rained all weekend. Last night one dad shared a story about getting his “first piece of ass”…to a bunch of 12-year olds. Nope. Nothing creepy about that.”
17) More Than She Bargained For…
“My first real boyfriend loved camping. We camped in the Sierras. We camped in Bryce Canyon. We camped in Yellowstone. We camped in Zion. I got altitude sickness, lived like a hobo, smelled like a wet horse, ate inedible food, got sunburned, dehydrated and peed on by a Great Dane on the beach in Mexico. I was over camping. And, then I went camping with a group of my husband’s friends to Laughlin, Nevada. We were the only married couple (as of 2 months) so we weren’t quite the wild ones. The other women all went topless all day. They slept in the open and caroused, all got drunk and made shadow bunnies on our tent. I got pregnant.”
16) Dog, Protector of the Campgrounds
“It was my first real camping trip with my boyfriend. We befriended a stray black lab mix that was there the night we arrived. We went into our tent and heard something making a ruckus and growling behind it. We realized that it most likely wasn’t the dog…and I really have to pee. We tried scaring it with noise and that didn’t work. My boyfriend chucks a shoe over our tent thinking that he would scare it away. Throws it outside the tent. We hear a thump of the shoe hitting the ground. Crazy noises ensue and the creature charges at the tent opening. We both start screaming and I’m putting my feet up against the front of the tent to keep it out while he furiously zips it back up. We are terrified, it’s pitch black, no flashlight. Just this crazy thing growling and trying to attack us. Suddenly we hear barking and our faithful stray comes to our rescue. The creature tears off. We breathe a sigh of relief until the smell hits: skunk. But the dog disappeared as mysteriously as he arrived.”
15) Alvin is Pissed
“Once I was camping with two friends. I woke up earlier than they did, and I opened the tent’s “windows”, so that I could get fresh air and look at the forest through the screens. A tiny, indignant chipmunk popped out from a hole in the ground at the edge of the tent, chattering angrily. It leapt onto the screen of the tent right in front of my face and hung there, scolding me. Then, it ran to a tent peg and started trying to dig it up. It was then I realized we had erected our tent right over the chipmunk’s den…”
14) Sliding-Lake Misery
“I was hiking through a river and thought I could climb a boulder in the middle. Slid on my forearm all the way down the sheer six-foot drop and plopped into the water, waist deep. Cellphone and all. But it was an old flip phone and it recovered well from its swim… I have photographic evidence of the arm, too…”
13) Camping Too Hard
“I drank too much and then didn’t sleep well because camping. So I spent the whole time hung over and sleep-deprived. This is every time I go camping, btw.”
12) Worst Trip Ever
“When I was in college, I took a class my senior year called “Camping and Outdoor Education”. This was a winter course and the final was a night of camping in December…in Missouri. It’s the one and only time I’ve been camping.”
11) It Only Takes One Time
“I got my first taste of racism at overnight Boy Scout camp. A fellow scout/camper thought it was funny to randomly slap me during breakfast. I was the only black scout in a full-on fist fight in the middle of New Hampshire woods. My tough as nails Irish scout master broke us up and shamed the kid for hitting me. And I never went camping again!”
10) Camping Two-Ways
“I got super sick camping in college from cotton seed oil in my medication. I was in a cabin on a small mountain outside of Malibu for a retreat and felt like I was dying on the final day. I spent that last day of the trip over a toilet bowl or in bed. It was one of the worst experiences in my life!”
9) If It Weren’t for the Prequels
“A bunch of my friends and I camped out in a field behind my friend’s house the night before we drove to the city to see Phantom Menace. I passed out drunk under a tree, then woke up to a steer walking through our campground.”
8) Maybe Too Rough
“I made the mistake of camping with only a mosquito net and a cot. Woke up in the middle of night to find myself surrounded by raccoons, opossums, and- no kidding – an armadillo. They were all just staring at me with their beady eyes. It was terrifying.”
7) Rockin’ Out
“Never went full-blown camping, slept in tents in my grandma’s yard. My friend and I were throwing small rocks at the tents to freak out my sleeping sisters and friends. Turns out, the rocks were going right through the tent. They woke up with them all around their heads.”
6) Floodin’ Good Time
“We were in a camper and the sink started leaking, so water got EVERYWHERE. Me and Dad had to scoop it out with measuring cups.”
5) Nature’s a Bitch
“In fourth grade, my class was taken on a camping trip in June. It rained the first two days, was sunny the third, and snowed the fourth. Half of us kids came home with the flu.”
4) So Natural
“I joked with a friend we were truly roughing it and not bringing TP, so I showed him how to look up leaves that were “safe” on his phone. Before I could reveal that we did in fact have TP while setting up he came back to camp complaining that our forefathers had it rough.”
3) Cocoa Lines for Days
“We got back to our campsite after fishing and found two raccoons finishing off an entire box of hot cocoa packets. Raccoon or human, sometimes you just REALLY need chocolate.”
2) Fear of the Wild
“Picture it, upstate Maine, end of August, lake. My bf decides we are going camping at Lake Umbago, the campsites are all islands in the center of the lake, you must boat out to them. He acts all manly and take charge. Gets our rental canoe and proceeds to try to steer from the front. Needless to say, not going to work. We arrived late so ended up setting camp at twilight, then the Loons came out. He freaked out and claimed they were trying to attack us, they were not at all doing so. He hid in the tent. I had to go all Girl Scout on him and handle everything from that point on. Good times.”
“Wait… actual camping or getting drunk in the woods? If you stay until sunrise, that makes it camping, right?”
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