10 Fictional Mothers You’re Bummed Aren’t Yours

By Loryn Stone


Mother’s Day is a special time of year. The singular day your poor, broken mother is supposed to sit pretty, get a little present, and be allowed to sit for a damn minute without someone whining about how they want a party, they want a cookie, they want to stay up.

I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now…

Captain Hook had it right.

But some of you out there might be cynics and say “Why do we have to declare the day for the mothers? Why can’t people just do nice things for their moms without having a full day dedicated to it? Why can’t we just do it because we want to?”

And well, as a mother myself, I can respond with confidence when I say…

“Because you fucking won’t, dude.”

But the Mommies on our countdown today have it right. These goddesses of material mastery are exemplary examples of perfection- those with prowess so grandiose, we can only wish to someday achieve their level of motherhood command. So today on PopLurker, we’re celebrating the best of the best, and we’re counting down the Top 10 Mothers You’re Bummed Aren’t Yours!

When you’re done, make sure to hug your mom, yeah?


10) Mama from Mama


She’s ready to give you a lot of attention.


9) Anna Morgan from The Ring

Anna Morgan_The Ring

All she ever wanted was you.


8) Joan Crawford from Mommie Dearest

Mommie Dearest.jpg

You don’t need anyone but her.


7) Pamela Voorhees from Friday the 13th

Pamela_Voorhees_Friday the 13th.jpg

She’ll go to bat for you.


6) Xenomorph Queen from Aliens

Xenomorph Queen.png

She’s nurturing and protective.


5) Pearl Forrester from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Pearl Forrester Mom.png

Tough love is the name of the game, but you are family and she’ll send guys into space for you.


4) Margaret White from Carrie


She’s an unwavering believer.


3) Lois from Malcolm in the Middle


She’ll keep you in line with loud, aggressive love.


2) Peggy Hill from King of the Hill


She’s the smartest mom you’ll ever meet- didn’t you know that already?


1) Lady Tremaine from Cinderella

Lady Tremaine.jpg

She makes sure the fun isn’t limited to *just* the pretty girls.




You can wish Loryn a Happy Mother’s Day on Twitter. She also has a personal blog, and her debut novel My Starlight (a YA novel about anime, cosplaying, fandom, sexuality, love, loss, and friendship) will be released August 3rd, 2018 by Affinity Rainbow Publications. Pre-sales will be available in July.

You can follow PopLurker on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram!


Statement: PopLurker is not owned by a corporation. We are a small collective of writers trying to create content that makes the internet a happier place. When you show our Patreon some love or even just Buy us a Coffee, you’re helping out the little guy whose sole mission is to help your day be just a little brighter. If you’re able to, please contribute so we can continue creating more hilarious content!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s