8 Reasons Why Xander Harris is the Worst Part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

By Jenn Coulter


Buffy the Vampire Slayer is an odd franchise because even though it still has many adoring fans after all these years, it also has a lot of really, really angry and bitter fans. You ever ask a hardcore fan how they feel about Season Six? Don’t…you’ll be trapped while they yell about Marti Noxon and how Tara deserved better for hours.

Similarly, while BtVS has been praised for having strong female characters, it’s also been criticized heavily for some of its other, lesser characters. Buffy might be great and all, but her “sister,” Dawn Summers, who is actually a ball of energy who materializes in the form of Buffy’s sister out of nowhere in Season 5, is considered to be one of the worst television characters of all time. Seriously, it’s like, the first thing on her Wikipedia page. And it’s not just because her existence is confusing and stupid, but because she’s whiny, insufferable, and useless. Then you have a lot of hate for Riley, Buffy’s milquetoast college-era love interest that I usually forget exists; a lot of hate for Kennedy, Willow’s love interest that I also usually forget exists; actually there’s a lot of hate out there for a pretty big chunk of the show’s characters.

But consider this – Dawn, Kennedy, Riley, hell, even the evil meninist Warren, are all blessings to the Buffyverse compared to Xander Harris. God, I hate Xander. Xander Harris is awful and stupid and doesn’t deserve to be in the presence of Buffy or Willow or…literally any of the other characters on the show. He causes a bunch of unnecessary trouble for the Scooby-Gang by doing dumb things like summoning demons for fun, spends all of season one whining about being friend-zoned by Buffy, and is generally useless.

this is a shiny pajama shirt xander.jpg

Xander, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

  • First, let’s talk about how Xander’s entire subplot for the first season or so was, “Boo-hoo, I’m in the friend zone with Buffy.”..was I supposed to feel bad for him because of his unrequited love? Because I didn’t. He was a complete jerk about it. As soon as our pretty blonde hero appears on the scene, he starts brushing off his “best friend” Willow, leaving her feeling sad and vaguely third-wheeled whenever they were all together. To make matters worse, after Buffy turns him down at prom, he immediately asks Willow out as a rebound. Like, damn, dude, what a jerkass move! OH, and then later he decides he does kind of like Willow after all, but figures this out while he’s dating Cordelia. So, what does he do? Cheat on Cordelia, of course! Why did they all stay friends with him for seven seasons and a comic series?
  • In addition to being a dick to Willow, he ends up treating Angel like complete shit, too. He constantly tries to make digs at Angel because he’s “jealous” that Buffy likes him, which, okay fine, that’s reasonable enough. But then he takes this to the next level and lies to Buffy about Angel being able to get his soul back so that she would kill him. Supposedly, he lies so Buffy would be able to save the world by killing him if she needed to or whatever, but judging by the way he treats Angel with pure contempt, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was really trying to get Buffy to kill this man so he could slide up on her.i love dirt
  • Most of Xander’s plotlines end up being about his love life, but like, I don’t even understand how he had a love life. Why do all these great women love him? You’re telling me Willow, a lesbian, was infatuated with this big horny loser? Faith, who is also a lesbian as far as I’m concerned, sleeps with him even though she’s the hottest woman on Earth, whose sneezes are probably more sexually appealing than Xander? Cordelia, the most popular girl in school, was really gonna risk it all for this square-ass man? AND YOU’RE TELLING ME ANYA, A DEMON WHOSE ENTIRE BEING IS DEDICATED TO SMITING TRASH MEN, FOUND AN EXCEPTION IN ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS?? Even a demon played by Ashanti appears in Season 7 and tries to date Xander. Ashanti would never.
  • Speaking of Xander’s romantic interests, do y’all remember when he was supposed to marry Anya and then left her at the altar? All it took was some demon disguised as his future self to be like, “nah, bro, don’t do it,” for him to just break the love of his life’s heart. I mean, come on. It’s always demons, Xander. Have a little faith in your woman. Anya should have sent him to a hell dimension.
  • Every Xander-centric episode? Bad. “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered” is a great example of how dumb and selfish Xander is – he foolishly makes a love potion to spite Cordelia and ends up putting himself and every woman in Sunnydale in danger. Then there’s “The Zeppo,” which is actually an entire episode about how Xander is a loser. Like, hey, Joss Whedon, if you knew your character was shit why did you make me suffer through seven seasons of him? Not to mention “The Replacement,” that episode where they make you suffer through not one, but TWO Xanders. That’s two Xanders too many.
    ugly ass
  • Remember that time he summoned a musical demon in “Once More with Feeling” just because he thought it would lighten the mood? And then once that backfired and the demon started causing people to spontaneously combust (because helloooo Xander, you’ve been part of the Scooby Gang for how long and haven’t learned that demons generally = bad??), he was totally content with letting Buffy think Dawn caused everything. Really, dude? You were going to let a fifteen-year-old girl take the fall for you? The only reason he pipes up at the end is because Dawn almost becomes this demon’s child bride. Which, speaking of Dawn…
  • HE DATES DAWN IN THE COMICS. EW. You know, the girl he’s known since she was at least fourteen and he was twenty-ish? His best friend’s little sister? That’s so skeevy. If it was an age gap romance between people who weren’t sharing a big bro little sis type bond growing up, maybe it would be acceptable, but something about that just doesn’t feel right to me. Also, again – what exactly is the appeal of Xander Harris? Does literally every supporting female character need to fall in love with this garbage can man? And finally, perhaps worst of all…a pajama shirt.jpg
  • The man wears the most hideous outfits. Sure, most of the outfits on BtVS were pretty hideous, but at least they’re fun and nostalgic. Xander’s clothes, on the other hand, aren’t fun bad, they’re just bad, bad. Like, half the time homeboy looks like he rolled out of bed wearing a pajama shirt and just pretended it was a regular shirt. Or, he looks like he needs like his shirts need C-batteries to charge all the clashing colors and patterns going on. Dude sucks so hard he can’t even make an eyepatch look badass.

Alright, maybe I’m being too harsh. I get that he exists to keep the narrative grounded in some way by being the “normal” guy. His character is supposed to elicit some sympathy because he knows he’s surrounded by all these magical, mystical people, and he’s supposed to address the concept of masculinity and, alright, fine, I guess his character existed for a good-ish reason. I see the point they were trying to go for there. I GUESS.

But I mean…he still sucks ass. He could have been an average, non-sucking-ass fella pushing that theme and narrative. So, my hot take remains this: Xander Harris is the absolute worst thing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I’d take a Dawn solo episode over a Xander clone episode any day.


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  1. When you add up all the things he has done (a larger list than at first look) he ends up being the real villain of the show. How he ends up with any woman is statistically unlikely, but how he retains any friends is by far the most unrealistic thing in a show that had vampires, demons and robot duplicates in. I love when I read something about an old TV show that forces me to reexamine how I look at an element of it.
    Great post

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am going to have to argue your point here. You had it right at the end of the article that he represents humanity and being human. Of course women with power and might would be attracted to something they don’t have, which is humanity. Xander was there is show how stupid a human with no powers or anything supernatural can see be apart of something great and make mistakes. He is almost a damsel in distress and his female friends have to bale him out. The reference with “Once More with Feeling” doesn’t count because Xander had no idea that neckless caused the demon to come up and claim a bride. He was not letting Dawn take the blame because they truly didn’t know how he was summoned until the very end and Xander comes out and says he took it. I agree with that Xander can be an asshole but hanging around powerful people can get to your head too but you yourself feels untouchable. That part about Xander and Dawn dating is actually really gross, that was purely unnecessary.

    But overall a very good article! Even though I disagree, I stilled enjoyed reading until the end just to see what other advice you had.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Honestly, I agree he is the worst character who has ever existed, but I am surprised by how much this article leaves out. Like how he never apologizes for trying to rape Buffy when he is a hyena. And like how he freaks out at Buffy for saving him from getting beat up by the school bully, despite the show being about woman power. And like when he basically calls Buffy evil when she explains that she needs to stop Anya from all her killing (whilst she has a soul and is entirely aware of her actions), despite his constantly blaming Angel for Angelus’s actions. And like how he is incredibly condescending to every woman on the show. When he tries to use witchcraft to make Cordelia obsess over him, she thinks it is CUTE when she finds out. He tried to emotionally date-rape her. When Willow did something similar to Tara, everyone was livid, but when Xander did it to Cordelia, it was cute and sweet!!? NO! F*ck that so hard! Xander is a POS like no other character from any series I have ever watched, and I honestly am appalled by the fact that some people idolize him, or admire him. He is a terrifying misogynist who manipulates everyone and constantly plays the victim, whilst simultaneously being a useless waste of space. Buffy is my favourite ever show, but Xander disgusts me so immensely that I actually don’t always know how to handle it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I completely agree with you! Adding on to all of your excellent points, my biggest issue with him that was left out of the article is his “holy-er then thou” nonsense that he constantly touts. I am re-watching the third season right now and he is just constantly making terrible decisions (like cheating on his girlfriend) and then getting angry and yelling at Buffy for having a difficult time after she killed Angel, or doing anything else that he has decided is ‘wrong.’ The ‘manly-man’ testosterone fueled rants of rightousness that he gives Buffy are completely out of line and she puts up with him and remains friends anyways. In any modern TV show such a disgusting show of the patriarchy would never be tolerated. Buffy deserves better.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Idk, Willow also didn’t have powers but she was really useful, Xander could be replace by another powerless character that isn’t so emasculated and arrogant, dude needs to stop being so annoyed that Buffy didn’t like him so he take it out on the people she likes.


  3. Completely agree, worst character in the series, always screaming about how manipulative, self centered and selfish his character is… Everything he ever did was SELF SERVING…


  4. Disinformation to push an agenda. Xander Harris was the HEART of the show. He saved the world more than any other character… about 7 times. The comments agreeing with you are your friends that you asked to agree with you. This page was created to put down his character because he wasn’t Politicly correct. I am in the age bracket that actually GREW UP with this show. Not someone who rewatched it after its original airing. His character is amazing and integral. Buffy would have suffered greatly without him. He is the only character who actually develops as a human being. He sees his prior foolishness and transgressed it. Can buffy or willow say the same? No. Power goes to their heads. Willow is the main villian in season 6 and Xander diffuses that situation with love and friendship. Funny how now men who pursue multiple women over the course of several years are demontized, yet women cannot be judged on being promiscuous. Hypocrisy abounds in not only this article but modern media itself. Xander was specifically written by Joss Whedon as the HEART of the show.


    • I grew up with the show as well and I hated Xander then and now. If he is supposed to be the heart of the show then it must be a selfish twisted heart. I can not express the amount of hatred i have for this character even now when i watch it and saying he was the only character that developed as a human is ridiculous he was a selfish asshole at the beginning and stayed that way through out the whole series.


    • I just recently started a re-watch of BtVS. It has been quite a while but one thing sticks out. I forgot just how much I can’t stand Xander. Is it because he isn’t politically correct? Nope, it is because he is a selfish prick. He has not proven to be a good friend to anyone. The whole friend-zone thing is annoying with any guy…not just Xander. Then he was like “oh, you can have the hots for a demon, but not me.” When a guy tries to make it so that there is something wrong with her because she doesn’t like ‘him’, that is a problem. THAT makes me angry…how is that about being politically correct? Then, the fact that he lied to Buffy when she was going to try to stop Angel from pulling the sword out of Acathla…what a selfish prick! These are the reasons why I hate him. I am no one’s friend. I am just so disgusted by the things that he is doing that I decided to look up others who hate him…then I ran across this article…SOOOO happy that I am not the only one who finds his actions deplorable. Do I care that he pursues multiple women? Not really, I do care about how horrible of a friend he was.


  5. Sure, Xander was kept on as the “heart” or “straight man” of the show to keep the rest of the ensemble grounded and relatable, but tbh I think it had something to do with the fact that he was literally Josh Whedon’s self-insert. At the end of the day, he probably got away with everything and dated nearly every girl in the series because that’s what Josh wishes he could do in real life.


  6. Wait wait wait, Faith is a lesbian in your eyes… for real?

    Faith, the only other recurring gal in the franchise who can compete with Cordy’s dating history with guys… although to be fair, most all of the women in the Buffyverse were shown to be guy crazy at one point or another… much feminism Joss.

    The only woman Faith expressed any interest in was Lilah on Angel, so that she could mug her… and admittedly, Faith’s voice on the writers’ room (Doug Petrie), liked to feed the Buffy/Faith shippers whenever he could.

    Not that the writers ever handled the LGBTQI+ side of things that well to begin with, with a bunch of queer panic (even if it gave us Larry, RIP) and devaluing Willow’s relationship with Tara by having it just hit Will’s switch from straight to lesbian without nuance, rather than having embraced Miss Maclay wholeheartedly despite her being the Scoob’s first same sex crush, keeping in mind the hate she’d receive for their relationship in the far less tolerant 2000’s, especially after narrowly escaping being burnt at the stake by an angry mob the year prior.

    It gets to the point that an enchanted Willow in season seven rushes to do a gender-swap spell on the teen guy she’s supernaturally attracted to, because lord knows she didn’t spend her own teen years being as cringingly boy crazy as half of the cast… nope, even when magically compelled, this redhead is unable to consider ever touching the D again, which is kinda surprising as her role model Vamp Willow is clearly bi (or just ‘kind of gay’ as they put it).

    I mean, did any of the women affect by Xander’s own love spell in season two make an offhand comment about how they’d have to make him a woman first? Nope, the women of Sunnydale just wanted him regardless, because y’know magic overriding their preferences. Maybe Willow was powerful enough to resist the enchanted jacket’s influence to that extent, but it ultimately does nothing for bisexual representation.

    Let’s face it, this show is full of problematic stuff… and having gotten all this off my chest, I’m actually starting to think how well Xander’s rampant Nice Guy-isms pair perfectly with Buffy constantly ignoring her calling to chase or mope over guys… sounds like a general case of shitty writing for everyone 😦


    • Pretty sure the author was joking about Faith being a lesbian, just because the author thinks Faith is really hot.


  7. Alright, so, as much as I profoundly dislike Xander, I feel compelled to temper a little bit the hate he gets here.
    * Regarding your first point, yes, undoubtedly, asking Willow out to the prom after being rejected by Buffy, was a jerk move.
    However, Willow feeling left out is because of her crush on him. He is not responsible for Willow’s feelings for him, feelings she never even overtly expressed to him. For the rest, I agree completely.
    * Regarding Angel, I have to say that when he says Angelus has to be killed (Buffy agreeing with him) is one of the rare times I also agreed with him. My issue here, much like yours I think, is when he lies to Buffy about Willow’s message. Thus confirming the fact that his reasons are mostly out of jealousy towards Angel and not because Angelus had to be stopped by all means necessary.
    * Ashanti’s character never intended to date him, she wanted to kill him to open the seal! For the rest, I have no issues with him having a love life, even losers can have love lives, so what?
    * Him leaving Anya at the altar is not just because of the demon telling him not to do it. We saw Xander having doubts long before that, during all of s06. Why does he doubt, and why is he scared? His family life, his parents’ marriage are toxic ones. Xander is actually an insecure little boy, afraid of becoming his father, who is depicted as a monster in the episode Restless. He is afraid of screwing up the one good thing life gave him, Anya, afraid of being a total loser. That is why the images the demon shows him resonate and impact him, because they are what he already fears. His biggest fears driving him, they finally manifest, so of couse he ends screwing up. Therefore, it is not a lack of faith in Anya that leads him to leaving her at the altar, it is a lack of faith in himself. I’m not trying to find excuses for him, merely saying that there is a sensible explanation.
    * Yeah, I’m not much a fan of Xander centric episodes either, but they help us see him for what he is, qualities (not so many) and flaws.
    * Completely agree with you about OMWF.
    * About him ending with Dawn in the comics, yes I also had an “eww!” feeling about it, but in fairness, Dawn is an adult when it happens and Xander is never shown grooming her or whatever. I guess their situation is one that can happen irl.
    To conclude, I have to repeat that I absolutely dislike Xander, he pisses me off for many other reasons that you haven’t commented on, but he also (very rarely though) shows that he can have gracious moments.
    He is however, the Scooby I like the least.


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