There’s something I’ve been saying since I discovered KISS a million years ago– no one sounds quite like Ace Frehley. I can almost guarantee that if you played the guitar solo from the same song played by four different artists and one of them was Ace, I could absolutely pick out his playing. There’s a raw metal ‘bare wire’ style to his playing that doesn’t sound like any other guitar player in the world. I can feel his emotions in every song he plays– every guitar solo is a story. Some of turmoil, some of lost headspace, some of loneliness and addiction, and some that are….well….
Trying to swagger over and fuck me.
Today’s countdown isn’t about the X Best KISS, Frehley’s Comet, or Ace Solo Songs. This isn’t even about the best guitar solos. No– it’s about the top Ace Frehley guitar solos that are trying, without a doubt to glide their way unto my honey pot and unleash their tender assault.
Have at thee, Space Man, because that gravity that used to hold me down?
Just don’t exist no more.
10) Rocket Ride (Guitar Solo: 2:04)
Listen to this guitar solo. Do you hear how it’s building? That’s Ace and his guitar looking me dead in the eye while the tension heightens…and tightens. With a final exclamation of ‘Grab ahold of my rocket!’ we’re on a lunar voyage to a slick and sodden bang-a-rang of asteroid-gliding bolide-bursting adventure of comet-collides and cum. This is the best Rocket Ride this baby on her knees has ever been on, and baby’s most definitely pleased.
2) Shock Me (Guitar Solo: 1:56)
The guitar solo from Shock Me off the Love Gun album has a unique sound that, on a technical level, sounds like hot, slippery fucking. If that guitar solo doesn’t sound like Ace is jacking his guitar off, then I don’t know anything about music. Up, down, up, down, updownupdown. Thrust thrust thrust. Gentle touch. Gentle touch. Grind grind grind grind, thrustthrustthrustthrustthrust. Yowza– my insulation is gone too, Space Man.
3) I Stole Your Love (Guitar Solo 1:54)
With a shout of ‘Guitar!’ from Paul Stanley, Ace swaggers onto the scene like an invitation to have his way with my supple, willing form. Slow and cool at first, his guitar solo quickly turns hot and hungry, when it attacks me like a lashing tongue ready for action. Of course, being on the Love Gun album, it’s sexually charged and ready to steal my everything. If a guitar solo could sound like it’s eating pussy really well, this would be the one. No wonder Ace looks so cocky on the album cover.
4) I Want You (Guitar Solo: 1:25)
While Paul’s lyrics and devoted and sweet, Ace’s guitar is prowling and intense. It lures me into his throes with repetitive wailing, penetrating my body with its wild need to serve and ravage me. It pulls me on top of it and gets me straddling that music cock with a sort of abandon that tells me that Ace’s music will swap roles and let me take the reins on that rocket and tell it where it will blast.
5) Parasite (Guitar Solo: 1:57)
Just the opening riff to this song sounds like sweaty, delicious sex. But while Ace’s guitar here isn’t raw fucking, it’s a carnal suggestion. He’s brushing up against my ass, letting me ‘accidentally’ feel that he’s hard. It’s not lewd, it’s just subtle enough that I’m curious…and yes, darling Space Ace….this Lurker is curious. Here in this steamy room, I’m in a smoky club with my nipples taut, my tight pleather pants…any tighter they could rip. And Ace’s music slides right behind me and I’m drenched by the unexpected, yet very welcome touch.
6) Hotter Than Hell (Guitar Solo: 2:24)
Ace’s Hotter Than Hell guitar solo picks up, to me, where Parasite’s leaves off. That same intrigue that got me when Parasite’s guitar solo started sways past me at the 1:15 time signature, but by 2:24, he’s fucking me in a utility closet. What makes the action even more delicious is the fact that the wailing guitar keeps grinding on me from that 2:24 time marker all the way until the end of the song. Ace’s lust never stops, and it leaves all my juicy parts hotter than hell.
7) Deuce (Guitar Solo: 1:45)
Coming from the self titled album, Deuce is a compositionally perfect song. But perfect and good aren’t want we’re discussing today…today, we’re talking about fucking. And while Deuce is one the more upbeat songs from their first album, Ace’s guitar solo still bursts out from the group of three other instruments and makes us go ‘Oh…well who is that guy?’. While this phenomenon is something the innocent or naive would call ‘Love at first sight’, I will pointedly call it ‘Lust, chemistry, and the unwavering urge to get my cunt rammed by Ace Frehley.’ It’s seeing the sexy guy show up at the party, too shy to talk to him, and by the end of the night you’re having secret sex with him in a corner of the backyard.
8) 100,000 Years (Guitar Solo: 1:43)
Now this is a song that prowls, and Ace’s guitar solo is no exception. But instead of having dark, wicked, thrusting sex with me, the guitar solo in 100,000 Years is an ilicit encounter with a stranger. It’s catching the attention of those slim, deft fingers, seeing what they can do o a guitar and knowing that they’d be of much better use slipped into your panties and dipped into your hot pocket. While the guitar solo is delicious on its own and takes your body on a journey, it is definitely the strong bassline here that takes my body to the next level. Perhaps this is a case where I am being…shared by Ace and Gene?
Don’t worry, Space God. My heart and climax belongs to you.
9) We’ve Got Your Rock (Guitar Solo 2:44)
If by ‘We’ve got your rock…right here’, what Ace is really trying to say is ‘I’ve got your rock hard cock, right here.’ A sneering, scowling song dripping with attitude, Ace’s guitar solo sounds like he’s fed up of everyone’s bullshit and is ready to take it out…on my sweet little cunny. My lust is hungry and ready for your guitar solo to have its way with me. In a game of auditory master and servant, this guitar solo throws me on my back and climbs on me, bruising my lips with its own. It rips my panties on the way off, but I love every passion fueled second of it. Rock me with your rock, Space Ace. Because countdown is coming on, and I’ll have something writhing and screaming for you soon enough, you delicious guitar solo, you.
10) Trouble Walkin’ (Guitar Solo: 1:30)
‘Take it, Ace!’ is shouted from one of his Frehley’s Comet band members. But I’ll be the one taking it from the moment this passion-fueled solo screams out of Ace’s music rocket. Confident and full of heat, Ace’s guitar solo leads me into orbit and takes me through a riot of emotions and feelings. I’ve explored every corner of my sexuality at the hands of this glowing satisfyer.
We’ve reached the end of our countdown, and after all of this fuck-fire, the only one who has trouble walkin’ is me and my banged-up-box. But don’t cut the power on me quite yet, Ace. Keep it in, and keep me high.
Or if nothing else…
At least the AAA batteries for my vibrator are rechargeable.
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