Smugness is not Confidence, you embarrassing self-deluded twat

Welcome to PopLurker—Quarantine Edition. Whether you’re practicing Social Distancing, Self-Isolation, “Safer at Home”, or full on Lockdown, just know that we here know that entertainment will be the catalyst that will help us get through it all. And me? I am entertained as fuck. So, take off your pants, grab yourself a beer, and prepare to get weird. Because you know what? We don’t need this shit to be safe for work. COVID-19 fixed that for us. There is no work! All hale gifs of Twitch girls pulling their nipples on loop while they play Mario Sunshine or whatever. Hell, you can laugh on the fucking shitter if you want and prepare to get Lurked. Because if you’re new to PopLurker, you’ll quickly see that it’s Home of the Garbage Person. Which is somewhat like Home of the Whiplash.

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To be completed in 1994.

So, what are we discussing today? Well, today’s topic, my fruitful Lurkers, is Smugness. And really, this topic is completely evergreen because nothing rubs me the wrong way like smugness. Smugness and being Self-Unaware. Those two things drive me fucking bonkers. With that being said, we’ll make an effort for like five seconds and make this topical, because random acts of smugness are real. And right now, with much of the country/world quarantine, there’s some pretty smug shit happening in the world. I’ll share this anecdotally, but you can see an example and learn how it just irks other people, too.

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Smugness

According to Twitter, the Crypt of all things current and annoying, there’s this trend where celebrities (ugh, hopefully that word is the next to go) have these “humbling moments of humanity” where they realize they’re no different than the rest of us defecating peons locked in our fuck-dungeons. Quotes from Taylor Swift (whose flavor of smug is Condescending Smug), Naomi Campbell, and Lady Gaga are well-captured in the article Viral Reactions: The Smugness of Celebrity Self-Isolation by Dr. Bonoy Kampmark. Not exactly what we are discussing today, but it’s fun and funny when something like smugness drives other people as crazy as it drives you.

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Smugness

But going back to the topic we’re Lurking: Smugness happens when the beaming, self-satisfied person in question thinks they have a quality that either you lack, or they think you want and then in turn attempts to use it as a weapon. Remember that episode of South Park where everyone was smugly driving Hybrid cars and smelling their own farts? It’s “Mmmmm, me. I like the way that sounds.” in a nutshell.

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It’s saying “thaaaaanks” like you don’t mean a single syllable of it

According to Oxford, Smugness is “having or showing an excessive pride in oneself or one’s achievements.” I love that word excessive. Like it just doesn’t end. And with Smug people, specifically those that aren’t Self-Aware, it doesn’t. It doesn’t fucking end. Confidence on the other hand is typically the result of hard work, expertise, and a sense of self-assurance in ones’ own capabilities. I really like that word self-assurance. A confident person wants to help you—a smug person wants to prove you wrong, tell you how great they are over and over again, or take pleasure in knowing they are literally consuming all of your attention and energy.

Nick Smug
It feels good to be right.

Sure, we all like praise and acknowledgement, especially when we are trying to share something. We are also taught that confidence is contagious, so often, I find that legitimately confident people are trying to take the thing that worked for them, give advice, share the wealth, and make others around them feel good. Yes, I agree that sometimes we’re just surfing our feeds after we just jerked off, and someone we know goes on an unwelcome motivational tangent about loving yourself and be proud of your accomplishments. Like really, I just jacked off and I’m about to make a sandwich. What the fuck else do you want from me? But they’re just trying to make others feel good and they think we give a shit about their “today will be a good one!” smile for the thousandth time, so fuck it. Let them have the little bit they have– the life surrounding the rest of that smile probably sucks.

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Luke’s one kiss to Han’s one thousand blow jobs

But Confidence’s cousin, Ye Olde Mighty Smugness, literally adds nothing to the conversation. It’s a smirk, a knowing glance, and an “Impressed yet?” when you haven’t actually said, done, or produced anything for which we should be excited. If confidence is an “I’m so happy that I love me, I’m proud that I love me, and please let me share the steps to which I reached this headspace” sort of expression, smugness is “you know you wanna fuck this *insert adjective, size, and moisture level of said body part and selected skin color, ethnicity, and whether you’re a nerd, goth, metal head, punk, non-binary, or gamer* or else you’re a moron”. Because yes– part of smugness is objectifying yourself and undoing the years of hard work your ancestors did in order to prevent you from being seen as a fetishized fuck toy. That goes for everyone: male, female, and those that fall in between.

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From Taylor Swift’s condescending smugness to JK Rowling’s passive aggressive smugness, truly, being smug comes in all flavors

Male and female smugness, from my experience, are completely different. I hate gendering things, especially something like smugness, but it’s true. Male smugness, like female smugness, can come from a place of being excessively pleased that they know something you don’t, or they’ve done something that they decided you have not done or mastered. But male smugness can also come from a self-congratulatory, if not arrogant place, being proud that you’re actually not something. For example, I’ve straight up heard men in the nerd community smugly announce that sure, while they have all the nerd cred of someone that knows every choice quote from Star Wars, has seen every episode of Star Trek, played more hours of D&D than there are in a 50 year time span, at least they’re not a “Neckbeard”, “Antisocial Loser” or, to put it bluntly “Ugly”.

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I’ve also had conversations with women that smugly declare that they are “one of the guys” and “don’t understand why women don’t like them being friends with their boyfriends, even though they don’t want to fuck them.” No, you probably don’t want those nasty dudes anywhere near you, but “one of the guys” does not present like a blow up doll, you smug bitch. You know exactly what you’re doing and you like dudes looking at your floating-orb tits. It’s all good, live your happiest life! But no one is either (here it comes) that self-unaware, or blatantly fuck-dumb.

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Search ‘Confidence’ online and you’ll see a lot of flexing.

People in the past have accused me of being a woman that hates other women, which is 100% untrue. I love my girlfriends, I love your girlfriend, I’d totally befriend or flirt with your wife, I adore female company, respect the shit out of mothers, and I perk up like a peacock when girls pay attention to me in any capacity. So, in that regard, those who have accused me of disliking women are incorrect as fuck. What does that feel like, dumbshits? I’ve come to the realization recently that I’m actually pretty macho, possibly in the toxic masculinity sense. But I’m not masculine, I’m macho. As in I collect action figures, arm wrestle, physically wrestle, practice violent martial arts  (Krav Maga, testing for my orange belt soon) love smashing shit, listen to fuck loads of heavy metal, wear boots and leather, get cocky when I’ve piqued the attention in the room, and like to literally flex my guns. And I don’t even consider myself “one of the guys”.

Self Confident Girl in a Thoughtful Pose
Anyone up for a perception game called Confident, Smug, or Cock-Hungry? Share this article 10 times and I’ll write it as a follow up!

As an active content creator, it’s important to understand how you come across and whether or not what you’re producing is content for people to enjoy, or a smug attempt to get people to look at you. And remember, content is anything consistent that falls under your brand’s umbrella. So that handsome fella on Instagram building Gundam kits and taking pictures of himself with them? Content. Cosplayers of all shapes, colors, sizes, and genders adorned in costumes ranging from tame to lewd taking pictures of themselves? Content. Book reviewers, lifestyle bloggers, vacation bloggers? Content! People writing articles about toys, the toy industry, reviewing toys, and showing off their collections? Content. But if your content is just arrogantly you, your face, your shitty opinions, and you staring into the camera for the fifteenth time today to smugly collect and consume attention…well…at that point, even the subjectivity of art and entertainment should have its subjectivity reexamined.

 

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